Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Have been slightly overwhelmed recently. The feeling that things are going on in a totally unexpected manner… pleasantly unexpected though. Have been thinking a lot, just thinking. Some general thoughts in no particular order:

  • The first time I got smashed, that is the uncontrollable blabbering smashed, was one of the greatest things to happen in my life. I strongly suspect half these prophets got their ‘revelations’ after a triple absinthe and coke. That time when you get that Fuck You attitude, that time when you start thinking so what, that time when you feel It doesn’t matter.
  • This leads to my new found philosophy in life: (Please note, all these are not original more like a collection of my favourite lines from various movies, I guess mostly from Trainspotting or Fight Club)
  • You are not the money you make, You are not the car you own, You are not the school/college you went to, You are not the chick you bang etc. You are simply the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. It doesn’t matter, you were crap, organic matter, into which life was induced for some reason, some reason and that life shall be taken away again for some reason, if any. So we are propelled into an essence- less existence. But what makes this fundamentally pointless journey meaningful are the two great gifts we have: intellect and sexuality. So concentrate and satiate either one or both, things should fall into place.
  • Middle class parents pile up too much pressure on their children nowadays. I feel this is an expression of insecurities induced by the widening inequalities in India. It is like if you miss out now, you are fucked son, so bust your ass out. I have this gnawing fear that increasing inequalities is going to be the biggest problem for the next generation in India.
  • Pain at the correct times can be SO pleasurable. Nothing new in this, but I am starting to experience all these only now. I love that occasional drinking binge, a binge just to puke out everything you have ever eaten. The constant throbbing in the head the next morning, the pain in your stomach give a different dimension to life. That lingering feeling of nausea… then you eat and puke one last time… go to sleep, that helpless feeling… and get up. It is like starting life afresh.
  • I also love to create that “Copy of a Copy of a Copy” feeling that Edward Norton talks about in Fight Club. Purposely go without sleep, induce insomnia, wreck your sleeping pattern, then when you walk around, you suddenly zone out, you are in a conversation, suddenly not, you are seeing equations on the board, then suddenly you see the sheep game… this seamless blending of reality and subconscious – one word… beautiful.
  • A friend spoke about this… Get up early in the morning say 4 AM, even though you have slept late, waste time till 6-7, watch a movie, eat, then a slow numbness will begin to set in… curl into a couch with a book and you will feel sleep take over you… the sweet numbness spreading to all parts of the body… Bliss!
(Note to Friends: These are from conversations with friends. So you may find your ideas here. But you don't want to be linked to such a blog do you? :P )


Ramkumar said...

how high were you when you wrote this? :p

themiddler said...

Not high at all! I would like to think of this as a stream-of-consciousness article! :)

Karthik said...

now I say..the EEEFECT....good thing maan...so now you tending to see the real world in front of you...the eternal consciousness... :D

Sweatha said...

Strange. A lot of things. :)

BoFi said...

When was the first time you got smashed??

Anonymous said...

With regard to the third point, exercise a little more care when labelling existence a "fundamentally pointless journey". If something, say X, is not A, and X is not B, it doesn't follow by implication that X is nothing. Besides the trivial observation that X IS Not-A AND Not-B, there remains the obvious - that the absence of proof is not proof of absence.

Having said all that jazz, the first point ("... It doesn't matter.") is quite remarkable in that you chose to capitalise the 'I'. The question just begs to be asked, so I shall ask it ... What eet ees? After all, 'Nothing Matters' is very different from 'Nothing Else Matters'!


themiddler said...


Wow! It is such a pleasure to receive a detailed comment like this.

Agree with the "X not A..." argument. But I don't see anything... one can continuously eliminate all possibilities and I feel it boils down to this.

The limitation in this method of eliminating things could be that a different starting point could lead to a different conclusion. Perhaps the same approach in the Hindu philosophical framework may lead a different conclusion. Point taken! (or is this what you are saying?)

themiddler said...


With regards to the second point...
When I wrote 'It', I was referring to the conditioning that we need to justify our existence.

So for me the phrase , "It doesn't matter" refers to the "fact" that the so-called meaning that people thrust upon us does not matter.

And I guess you are anonymous for a reason but would you mind indicating who you may be. Was really fun replying to this comment!

Anonymous said...

I may be the Devil incarnate. I may be sugar and spice, and everything nice. If you meant '... who you are', perhaps this shall be of assistance - It was I.

The point I was trying to convey was that once you label existence "fundamentally pointless", you are no longer an unbiased observer.

Coming to the need to 'justify our existence', a subscription to the view that existence is fundamentally pointless may itself be (I'm not saying it is) a means to 'justify' a pointless existence.

themiddler said...

Hahahaha... fie you have got me there with the argument that "a subscription to the view that existence is fundamentally pointless may itself be (I'm not saying it is) a means to 'justify' a pointless"

I rest my case, hang my boots...

But there is something else.

I find it a matter of great surprise,
That someone of the species,
"Sugar and spice and all things nice",
Can speak with so much interest on the philosophies!

Your answer?

Anonymous said...

Why should it come as a surprise that someone who fits the description 'sugar and spice, and everything nice' can speak with so much interest on the philosophies? Your remark smacks of either male chauvanism or a skewed notion of what philosophy is.

If you want to know why I choose to comment anonymously, I dare say you'll find the answer in your new post... "Whereas, if you DO prove yourself in some activity then people will/have to/want to take you seriously. How much ever I may feel Arundhati Roy's views are incomplete and sometimes idiotic, she has earned that space by winning an International Prize. I haven't. Therefore, any day she has more credibility than I do. Period." I believe that an idea or an opinion must be judged on its own merit, and independently of the person expressing that view.

P.S. The word 'may' denotes possibility.

Anonymous said...


themiddler said...


Haha.... nice retort!

Coming back to one thing I wanted to ask you... agreed that my method is flawed. I justify it under the basis that this is good enough from a practical point of view - not the perfect solution but a good enough approximation.

But what is your take on the meaning of life argument?

themiddler said...

And interesting you say that bit about "Idea being judged about purely on its merit".

I am plodding through Michel Foucault and (I think) he says that in popular discourse that is really not possible. In fact, it is perhaps only charisma which propels an idea through.

Anyway, it is a treat having you here and do check out this

Anonymous said...

I haven't read Focault, but I think you'll find that the key word there is 'popular', which counts for squat.

As for my take on the meaning of life, or the meaning-of-life argument, this is your blog, not mine. :)