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Have been slightly overwhelmed recently. The feeling that things are going on in a totally unexpected manner… pleasantly unexpected though. Have been thinking a lot, just thinking. Some general thoughts in no particular order:

• The first time I got smashed, that is the uncontrollable blabbering smashed, was one of the greatest things to happen in my life. I strongly suspect half these prophets got their ‘revelations’ after a triple absinthe and coke. That time when you get that Fuck You attitude, that time when you start thinking so what, that time when you feel It doesn’t matter.
• This leads to my new found philosophy in life: (Please note, all these are not original more like a collection of my favourite lines from various movies, I guess mostly from Trainspotting or Fight Club)
• You are not the money you make, You are not the car you own, You are not the school/college you went to, You are not the chick you bang etc. You are simply the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. It doesn’t matter, you were crap, organic matter, into which life was induced for some reason, some reason and that life shall be taken away again for some reason, if any. So we are propelled into an essence- less existence. But what makes this fundamentally pointless journey meaningful are the two great gifts we have: intellect and sexuality. So concentrate and satiate either one or both, things should fall into place.
• Middle class parents pile up too much pressure on their children nowadays. I feel this is an expression of insecurities induced by the widening inequalities in India. It is like if you miss out now, you are fucked son, so bust your ass out. I have this gnawing fear that increasing inequalities is going to be the biggest problem for the next generation in India.
• Pain at the correct times can be SO pleasurable. Nothing new in this, but I am starting to experience all these only now. I love that occasional drinking binge, a binge just to puke out everything you have ever eaten. The constant throbbing in the head the next morning, the pain in your stomach give a different dimension to life. That lingering feeling of nausea… then you eat and puke one last time… go to sleep, that helpless feeling… and get up. It is like starting life afresh.
• I also love to create that “Copy of a Copy of a Copy” feeling that Edward Norton talks about in Fight Club. Purposely go without sleep, induce insomnia, wreck your sleeping pattern, then when you walk around, you suddenly zone out, you are in a conversation, suddenly not, you are seeing equations on the board, then suddenly you see the sheep game… this seamless blending of reality and subconscious – one word… beautiful.
• A friend spoke about this… Get up early in the morning say 4 AM, even though you have slept late, waste time till 6-7, watch a movie, eat, then a slow numbness will begin to set in… curl into a couch with a book and you will feel sleep take over you… the sweet numbness spreading to all parts of the body… Bliss!

(Note to Friends: These are from conversations with friends. So you may find your ideas here. But you don't want to be linked to such a blog do you? :P )

The Alcohol Man

Shots rang through the cold winter air,
The General mused on his old wicker chair,
That fateful night in the middle of June,
When he had first heard that plaintive tune.

“He’s an Alcohol Man,
Trudging an Alcohol life,
Living an Alcohol dream,
Blood in his Alcohol stream”

The General was hopelessly lost,
Dying in a desert night-frost,
The song from a distant inn,
Set him towards the source seeking.

The veiled singer’s figure was perfection,*
He was a helpless prisoner of seduction,
To discern her concealed visage,
He willfully entered the mirage.

There was the Alcohol Man,
Lurking behind an Alcohol veil,
Waiting for his Alcohol prey,
To fall into his Alcohol snare.

“Step in for the initiation,
This will be your best decision
Millions before have made the trip”
She whispered in a lissome lisp.

The faceless waiter plonked down,
The welcome drink, for a crown,
The General unbuttoned his old parka,
He said,” Waiter, there is a mosquito in my vodka”.

The waiter replied, “These lamps show life in a jaundiced light,
In reality, there is no wrong or right,
The Alcohol Man should never be refused,
He will save you from being confused.”

He is the Alcohol Man,
Takes you in his Alcohol van,
Past the Alcohol gates,
Into the world of Alcohol ways.

You ain’t got no demands or liability here,
No fuckin’ insurance, no fuckin’ career.
The General found himself in a floating bliss,
Slowly slipping into the alcoholic abyss.

Now he was the Alcohol man,
Marching the Alcohol band,
Living the Alcohol dream,
Blood in his Alcohol stream.

Shots rang through the cold winter air… :)

*By “perfection… and …seduction” I refer to the Smirnoff bottle. :)